He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
