so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
