he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
