Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
