i barfeds in our rink
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am naked and annoyed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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