So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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