Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
