i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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