pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
