I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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