Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Houston, we have a blender
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
