I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
