Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?