you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.