She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize
