We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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