the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
