Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
