So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
