If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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