whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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