so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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