so that wasnt chicken after all
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize