i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
