i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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