I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize