WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
