gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
