But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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