ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
