You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
