If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
