Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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