I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
