hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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