So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize