I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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