He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
