I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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