my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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