Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
