May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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