My friends, they love my intelligence
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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