He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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