i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
