Do vagina's smell?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
