I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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