we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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