Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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