it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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