that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
