I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When are your genitals available?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
