Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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