my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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