hotel room ftw
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
