How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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