seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
