Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
