Whod you bang
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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