I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
